12 May 2008
On Bad Habits & What To Avoid
Posted by imranajmain under people | Tags: kad jemputan, malays, melayu, singapore, wedding |I might be guilty for some of these traits, being half Malay, but I ain’t no elitist like those sombong folks who refuse to have anything to do with being Malay, especially when they marry a non-Malay or study abroad or just have this mindset that they belong elsewhere other than in a Malay community. Here’s quite the opposite; a reality check for our society, and some pointers to avoid. In random order.
1) Amanah Kad Jemputan: If a family member is getting married, never allow the parents (or you, yourself) to give a bunch of invitation cards to 1 person and expect them to pass it onto your other invitees just because they are family. It probably won’t reach the other party, and you only have yourself to blame. Call all invitees to get their addresses, and send it all out as franked mail (no stamps needed). Enquire at SingPost and jangan harapkan makcik kau. Invitations should come from you!
2) Signing As Guarantors: Each and everyone of us must know at least 1 person pernah kena kencing pasal contracts or bonds, and the guarantors have to pay the price later. It should be haram to sign as guarantors if you’re not a spouse or siblings. At least the guilt factor is a bit higher if you cheat your direct family members. Cousins don’t count. Don’t ask random people (bestfriends, cousins included) to sign as guarantors for your jobs, bank loans or new Starhub business plans, and never sign for anybody as guarantors unless you are physically attached to that person ie Siamese twin. You cannot trust anybody at all, so don’t give society the benefit of a doubt.
3) Not Turning Up For An Appointment then Turning Off Your Handphone: it says it all. Ni very Melayu actually. For heaven’s sake, what’s wrong with just calling to call it off?
4) Taking Credit For Something Irrelevant To You: “Aku yang kasi dia benda tu” “Dulu aku yang tolong dia” “Alah, bila dia susah siapa jugak dia call”. Enough is enough already.
5) When You’re Not Invited to A Function of Somebody You Know, Jangan Merajuk, Bodoh!: So what? They probably don’t want you around. Why nak amik hati and waste your adrenaline? Don’t make a big fuss that you’re not part of it and move on with your life instead of moping around and whining to your friends and family about not receiving news about the wedding and then doing a No.4 (refer to No.4). Sudah lah. Kau siapa nak mengharap ni semua? This is what you do: Send gifts or money via somebody else and leave your name and contact details there for future use. Who knows they might have just forgotten about you? You could have made the same mistake too.
6) Going Online Only To Use MSN and Friendster: If I had a dollar for everytime somebody says “Aku tak tau macam mana nak pergi sana” or “Aku tak beli papers so aku tak tau wayang tu pukul berapa” and this is said in an MSN conversation. Hello? You’re online! Google it! If you know how to find pirated MP3s and Youtube, you must learn how to use the street directory and Yahoo movies already. Idiots!! Lyrics and guitar chords also available.
7) Waiting On Others: this is the most popular of it all. “Kalau dia pergi, aku pergi” or “Tunggu dia dulu“. Most of us in big groups can’t function when the self-proclaimed leader has not decided for us. I don’t know why we do that. Don’t wait on others to make decisions. And if you’re going to be late, ask them to go on without you, and not wait for you.
Fighting In Public: to the young couple at Tampines Mall yesterday shouting at the top of their lungs and the girl crying for attention, you’ve officially joined our society as a member who loves public display of anger and frustration!! IS FIGHTING IN PRIVATE LESS THRILLING?? Remember the Youtube video; minah shouting and crying on the phone in the MRT?
This post was inspired by a site called Stuff White People Like ; maybe we should do one for Malays and I could chronicle the endless chalets, naik lorry jalan raya, gold, soccer and fish&chips equals to Western food. I love being Malay and making these observations.
One Response to “On Bad Habits & What To Avoid”
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19 May 2008 at 8:09 am
Funny, that you should blog about this. I blogged about something very similar to this over a year ago and got SLAMMED with negative comments. I speak my mind and I typically don’t care what people have to say to my face but after getting some really demeaning comments like “If you don’t like this, maybe you should go back to America”, I deleted the post.
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I mentioned how wearing the tudung today has gotten to be a “facade” and wow, did that get me into some serious trouble. But I made the observation that now girls who wear it are practically salivating over their boyfriends in public (canoodling in the MRT). People misunderstood me trying to make the point of “Why do we wear the scarf only to contradict ourselves in public?” But then again, like me, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
But I’m glad I’m not the only one who makes these observations. And that you should continue to make and blog about these observations. I don’t know if you ever read Alfian Saat’s post aboout the “Scolding Repertoire of Malay Mothers” or the “Malay TV Drama”. His uncanny sense for detail about the topic was so dead on, I could only hope he had made more posts like that. Hahaha. Keep up with the observations. I’m keen to read your insights.
A little off topic and me wanting to save the trouble of commenting twice, I read your entry about why hiphop would not thrive in Singapore. I do agree with you in many ways in that we don’t have the public support for it. I guess, and this is just MY opinion, that Singapore has never been a keen fan to the world of hiphop. Compared to the States, where I studied for the last 10 years, the hiphop scene is very much so thriving and is ALWAYS kept alive by the up and coming artistes. Also, our society is more to the UK Music and hiphop has never been a part of our lifestyle.
But it also does stem from music being broadcasted on the radio. The only hiphop that does get some recognition happens to be “Low” by Flo Rida and it’s only because it was the soundtrack to “Step Up 2″. And for some reason, people equate Chris Brown to true hip hop.
And then you have your local IDIOTS who think hip hop is crap because all it is is a bunch of thugs wearing over sized clothes and blinging themselves out. They are QUICK to stereotype people but once someone stereotypes them, all hell breaks loose. There is also the misconception that hip hop is a “what’s up my nigga” and talking like you never went to grammar school. And lets not forget the bumping and grinding people do at the clubs. And what I’ve always hated is that some people associate hiphop with Mats and Minahs. Seriously? No way.
When really, hip hop is an art very many fail to understand. The lyrics, the moves, the beats, the sound.
Till our society sees and understands the true reason behind hip hop, it’s just going to be another “I’m just following because the charts say it’s an awesome song” phase. And it’s quite sad because I enjoy hip hop. Granted I am more for the more “mainstream” hip hop like Yung Joc, Lil Wayne, T.I., Youngbloodz, Eastside Boys, Kanye West, DJ Unk, etc; but nonetheless, I think it’s something radio stations should try investing some time in. Maybe they could hire me to DJ a hip hop segment on the radio. WOO HOO!! hahahahahaha…
I truly applaud your efforts in trying to bring a community awareness to the hiphop scene without making it look like it’s only about the benjamins, bling-bling, baggy clothes, sex, drugs, and defeminization of women. And only wish you the best in everything.
And yes, I am a fan of your work.
This has been long enough but I enjoy reading you views on many topics and will continue to read.
Muneera